One Big Mistake - Phan
by Words are magical
Summary: Dan begins to realise his feelings for Phil and spontaneously acts on them but Phil doesn't react well. I'm terrible at writing summaries.
1. Chapter 1

_**I honestly ship phan way too much!**__** I'm writing this as it's an idea that's been buzzing round my head for a while and writing is very therapeutic! I shall strive to not make this too cheesy and unbelievable, I promise! **_

**_(Written in third person but mainly from Dan's point of veiw)_**

They had been friends for years. Him and Phil. Dan and Phil that is, since 2009! They got on really well when they first met, too well one might even say but it didn't matter because he just wanted to spend time with him, to be his friend, to be his best friend and to never leave his side. Of course that was what he thought at the time because obviously he was straight, no questions asked right? They spent almost every evening on skype together and had very similar interests, they were together in real life too, whenever they could. He really liked Phil, a lot. But he never even considered taking those feelings seriously, as something more than friendly. That is, until _that night._

It's was December 28th, 2014. Christmas had already been and gone and so dan was standing in the living room, holding an empty card-board box labelled 'Xmas Decorations'. He was just about to begin detangling the tinsel from the tree when he heard the sound of Phil's heavy footfalls as he came running through the hall into the living room. Dan turned just in time to see him skid on the wooden floor and go flying into the DVD cabinet, knocking video games everywhere. He immediately ran to his side to clear the cases off of him.  
"You- you can't take the- don't take down the decorations!" He panted.  
"What? Phil, what are you on about?" Dan asked, now on his knees by phil, who was propped up against the cabinet. He placed his hands on Phil's arms, "Seriously, are you okay?"  
"Yeh, yeh I'm fine but you can't take down the decorations yet, it's bound to be bad luck!" He broke eye contact with Dan and tried to move his arms free from his grip. Dan still didn't let go. He didn't want to. "Dan, I'm fine, honest!" He said, still avoiding his gaze, and got to his feet. Dan had by now removed his grip on Phil and had scrambled back onto the sofa to be reunited with his laptop.  
"What you watching?" Phil said referring to the television which was still on. He sat down next to him and laid both of his feet, crossed, on the extended part of the sofa, next to Dan's feet so their ankles were accidentally touching.  
"Not sure, was watching an anime but it finished a moment ago." Dan murmured distantly after a moment, gazing at their feet. Then, as if he had just woken up, he quickly glanced up at Phil before moving his feet just a tiny bit so that they weren't touching Phil's. He saw Phil's eyes flicker for a moment and he stared blankly back at his computer screen, feeling strange.

Dan excused himself to his room a little while later, leaving Phil contentedly watching television, and accidentally lingered a little longer at the door before he pulled it closed behind him. He trudged upstairs and opened his door to see that his room was still a mess, just as he had left it, barely able to see the floor for all the stuff. He kicked the door shut and placed his laptop on top of the piano, before sitting down on the edge of the bed silently. He half-consciously pulled off his jeans and socks, leaving on his t-shirt, and crawled under his duvet. However, no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't get to sleep and gave up after about an hour of tossing and turning. He got up to get his laptop and went on tumblr but he still felt quite separated from everything, as if he was barely even there.

He spent the following day in his room, apart from the occasional trip to the kitchen for food. That evening, feeling lonely due to such an absence of Phil's company, he thought about how funny he felt when Phil's foot accidentally touched his, and his big dramatic entrance. A moment later, he burst into tears. He didn't know why he was crying, or why he was suddenly so emotional but all he could think about then was Phil. His kind nature, his nice voice, his eyes etc. Maybe all this was just too overwhelming at that moment. Either way, he must have sobbed too loudly as he soon heard Phil's footsteps up the stairs and he immediately buried his face in his pillow so that Phil wouldn't see him.  
"Dan? Dan are you okay?" He heard him say from outside the door, after he had quietly knocked on the door. "Dan I think I heard you... crying. Can I come in?" Dan held his breath in the hope that he would just turn and leave, although he very much doubted it. "Dan, I'm going to come in now." With that he heard the door handle rattled and the door creaked open so that a rectangle of light was suddenly cast over him from the hallway, illuminating that part of the room. He heard Phil sigh and flick on the light before perching on the bed and placing his hand on Dan's shoulder. "I know you're not asleep." Phil said quietly. Slowly, Dan sat up and faced him. "What's wrong?" Phil asked with a kind smile.  
"Nothing." Dan sniffed and smiled stiffly at him.  
"We both know that's not true." Dan looked up at Phil when he said this and met his gaze. "Is there something you're nervous about doing or something? Seriously, what's wrong"  
"Really wanna know?" He said slowly and Phil nodded. Without even thinking it through properly, he quickly leaned in and kissed him but it lasted less than a second as Phil jumped straight to his feet. Dan followed suit and stood up with his arms outstretched, hoping Phil would stay calm.  
"Wha- what the hell, Dan?!" He yelled staring hard at him. Dan just looked at him, staring into Phil's eyes as tears filled his.  
"Phil! Phil listen to me!" He said and grabbed Phil's arm but he pulled away and stormed out of the room. Dan chased after him but he just stayed silent, even though Dan kept calling his name. When he reached the front door, he grabbed his jacket and left, slamming the door behind him and leaving Dan staring after him from the end of the hallway. Dan ran his hand through his hair to get in out of his face and fell to his knees, tears still streaking down his face. He pulled out his phone to call Phil but it went to voicemail.

"Phil listen I- I don't know why I did that- I just- I'm sorry, really sorry- I'm so sorry for what I did. I wasn't thinking straight, I wasn't thinking at all." He said, sobbing into the phone, "I- I don't know where you've gone or when you'll get back but - I just-." He clicked off and placed the phone on the floor, his fingers trembling.


	2. Chapter 2

The next morning, Dan awoke to find himself slumped against the wall in his hallway, his phone beeping loudly and streaks of light streaming in from above the door. He squinted in the light as he picked up his phone and answered.  
"Hello?" There was no reply but Dan could hear someone sigh on the other end. "Hello?" He repeated.  
"Dan?" It was Phil, his voice was groggy and he sounded very tired.  
"Oh my god, Phil! Are you okay? Where are you?"  
"Why did you kiss me?"  
"You wanted to know what was wrong." He heard phil laugh a little at this.  
"I got your voicemail." His voice seemed to go a little strange when he said this, but only for a moment.  
"Oh?"  
"I'm bringing home Chinese food for dinner so don't make any plans." The line went dead and Dan sighed. He stood up and walked back up the stairs to make himself some breakfast in the kitchen, before making his way to the living room and sitting down on the sofa with his laptop. However, he just stared blankly at the screen as he was lost in his own thoughts, which were all hounded by Phil. It was mostly things like 'Why did you do it Dan?' and 'What where you thinking?'.

The day passed painfully slowly as Dan just moped around the empty house, feeling lonely, with only his harsh, destructive thoughts for company. A little after seven, he was watching television in the living room when he heard the door open next to him, unaware that Phil had let himself into the house a few moments earlier.  
"Hi." He heard Phil say from next to him, his voice was low and quiet and almost sounded mournful but Dan refused to meet his gaze and stayed silent. "I brought a takeaway, as promised." At that, Dan allowed himself to glance down at the bags Phil was holding.  
"You can sit down if you want." He replied after a moment. Phil did as he was told and sat on the sofa, putting the bags on the coffee table before them. He began unpacking the boxes and left to get some plates from the kitchen, leaving Dan on his own again. He continued to stare at the screen while Phil was out of the room, internally panicking. _'What will I do? How should I act? I mean, last time he reacted really badly but I think we need to talk about it. If we do talk about it 'tho, I-' ._  
"Dan?" He heard Phil's voice say all of a sudden, startling him slightly. He didn't look at Phil because he had accidentally let his eyes fill with tears and he couldn't let Phil see. "I'm not gonna ask what's wrong because..." His voice trailed off and he sat down again on the sofa, quite near to Dan.  
"I think we need to talk about last night, Phil." Dan said and Phil was clearly taken aback by this suggestion.  
"What is there to talk about?" Dan stayed silent, surprised and saddened by his slightly aggressive reaction. "Well?"  
"I'm not gonna just sweep it under the rug."  
"Well then you decide what we should do! After all, you were the one that did it." He looked away when he heard this as he felt himself welling up and tears filled his eyes again but he heard Phil sigh in dismay shortly after. "I'm sorry, that was unnecessary... I want to be here for you to help but you have to tell me what's going on, Dan." He felt a pressure on his shoulder and realised that phil had placed his hand reassuringly on it.  
"Well...no, nothing's going on, I was just messing about, that's all." He said and pushed Phil's hand away, still looking in the other direction.  
"What?" He heard that Phil's voice was a little strange when he said this, perhaps even hurt- but he knew he couldn't let his imagination deceive him.  
"I was just messing about, just a big joke...how were my acting skills then?"  
"What about your message?" There was definitely a hurt tone in his voice then, even if he was trying to hide it.  
"It was nothing."


	3. Chapter 3

Dan went to his room after they had eaten, the meal was quite awkward as neither of them really spoke and he felt very uncomfortable in Phil's presence now. A few hours after he disappeared to his room, he heard Phil knock somewhat sheepishly on the door. He knew that his eyes must be bloodshot by now as he had been crying a little and had been sitting in his dark room for over three hours, staring at his laptop screen.  
"Dan?"  
"Go away, Phil, please."  
"No, I want to come in and talk to you." A second later, Dan heard the door knob rattle and the door began to open so he jumped up and flung himself against it. He heard Phil yell out in surprise.  
"Please leave me be." He said, stifling a sob. Phil didn't reply but Dan could tell that he hadn't left as he hadn't heard any footsteps. A moment later, he sunk to the floor, still leaning against the door and embraced his knees, crying silently.  
"No." He heard phil say quietly but sternly from the other side of the door, after a number of minutes.  
"What?" He replied, in as steady a voice as he could manage.  
"No, I won't leave you be. I'm not going to move until you let me in, now open the door." He said, "Please." Dan's thoughts raced, barely daring to even consider the notion. 'what does he mean open the door? What does he think he'll achieve?! If I were to open the door, there's only a certain number of possible outcomes and hardly any of them are good ones!' However, despite all of these destructive thoughts and all of his instincts, his body seemed to be moving all on it's own, completely ignoring his brain! He slowly stood up and put his hand on the handle, before opening it slowly and calmly to see phil sitting cross-legged in the bright hallway in front of him.

Dan had to blink several times for his eyes to adjust to the sudden brightness, and then he looked down to see Phil sitting cross-legged on the floor in front of him and looking up with a concerned expression. The very thought that he might loose Phil altogether just because of some silly thing that he did was all too much to bear, everything seemed to click into place at that moment and he realised that these feelings he had been having towards Phil for so many years we're definitely more than just friendly. He was so overwhelmed by this that he sunk to his knees and began to cry quietly.  
"Oh Dan," He heard Phil exclaim and felt his strong arms wrap around him and embrace him, making him feel small but also warm and protected all of a sudden.  
"Phil I- I think I'm in l-" he began to say but was interrupted,  
"Yeh Dan, I know," he chuckled a little, "I kinda guessed it was something like that."  
"I'm sorry,"  
"Don't be." Dan sighed when Phil said this but soon snapped back to reality and began to try and break free of Phil's grasp and stand.  
"I can understand if you don't want to be friends anymore, if you want me to move out." He said but Phil shook his head and tightened his grip on him, so that Dan couldn't escape and they were both still in a heap on the floor. He looked up into Phil's eyes and subconsciously leant in towards him. Their lips met and Phil's arms immediately retracted a little, as a reflex, but then, much to Dan's surprise, he began to kiss him back. Dan slid his arms over Phil's shoulders and pulled back but only to see that Phil looked quite concerned. Immediately his heart sunk and he felt a little ill.  
"I'm sorry but I...I need some time to think." Phil said quietly and slipped gently out of Dan's arms to a standing position. He then walked a few steps into his room and closed the door softly. Dan watched him as he did this and, when he shut the door, he shuffled back against the wall and curled up, embracing his knees. _'I did it again. I kissed him again. But then again, he kissed me back. I endangered everything with him, but he kissed me back...'_


	4. Chapter 4

Dan didn't know just when he fell asleep that night, curled up in the hallway, but it was after he resolved to sit there until Phil came out of his room again. He was apparently beginning to make a habit of sleeping in hallways! When he woke up again, his watch told him it had just gone eight o'clock in the morning. He sat up and continued to wait until he heard Phil's door handle turn at about quarter past ten.  
"Dan!" He exclaimed, striding quickly over to him, "Have you been there all night?!" He held out his hand to Dan to help him up but, when he took it, he then pulled him into a tight hug.  
"Wh- Phil, I-".  
"I love you." Phil interrupted. Dan stifled a gasp and replied after a moment with "I love you too".


End file.
